So Lyla is a perpetual taddler. She seems to be my people-pleaser who is anxious for approval from everyone. Mckayla, on the other hand, is more into doing things her own way and doing whatever she can to get her own way. While I try to dish out praise to Lyla a lot, I am not a fan of taddling. She will get a bit carried away and come running to me about everything. Especially if they are supposed to be cleaning room, or getting dressed, or any task that I have set out for them to do unsupervised. Lyla will come in yelling to me minutes after the task has started to report that Mckayla is not following the directions. And she'll always add, "but I am listening," or "I listened to the directions" etc.
Lately after I pick them up from the busstop Lyla will give me the rundown on every kid in her class who got in trouble that day and why. If everything that she tells me is true, it's pretty impressive that she remembers them all. Today, for example, I was informed that Dayton didn't listen to the teacher during rugtime, and Maya hit another girl on the playground, and three other names and specific indiscretions committed. It always ends with, "But I was a good girl at school because I always listen to directions." Or something to that effect. I try to discourage taddling at home, I tell Lyla to only worry about what she is doing and to let me worry about what Mckayla does. When Mckayla has gotten in trouble from school Lyla will really not let her forget it, and has to be reminded several times to mind her own business. I don't want their indiscretions to be between everybody. It has seemed to work a little bit, just because Lyla can see that I don't want to hear Mckayla's faults from her. That is between me and Mckayla.
It just doesn't seem like a healthy attitude she has been taking and I am not sure how to curb it. I want her to be proud of herself and know that I am proud of her. But I think it is different to point out what others do bad to lift yourself up. I want to show her that she has talents and she doesn't need to point out everything others do wrong to show how she is good. I also wonder why she seems to be so eager to please and is so desperate for approval. It really has just been since school started. It's not a terrible thing, but I think it could turn into unhealthy attitudes and habits.
The plus side of taddling is that I do want to be told if there is something really serious going on, or if there is a real problem at school. I don't think it is healthy to point out the faults of every kid in the class everyday, but it is a bit entertaining. Lyla can sure spin a story.
Ideas? Do you encourage or discourage taddling?
Timeline
3 years ago
2 comments:
I have a general rule, 'unless someone is bleeding, making a really big mess or about to die I don't want to hear about it.' It sometimes works. Tattling is age appropriate behavior and something they just sort of 'grow out of'. Not that it's fun to listen to. Cori is just coming into that stage and came running into the house yesterday all concerned and says to me, 'Chaser (our neighbor) told Annika she was stupid and that's not nice!' I told her to talk to Chase about it because I didn't care. See? I'm a good mom. ;)
Yeah - my policy was similar - if somebody is doing something dangerous, that's when you tell."
Now I say don't call my cell phone unless a bone is sticking out, and you probably would be better off to call 911, anyway.
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